Dreams are so weird, they can mess with your whole day - be that good or bad. Sometimes they are so vivid seem so real. I used to wake to see my cat at the end of my bed, a big ball of furry blood, in the wee hours of the dawn. It was so vivid. Scared the shit out of my 8yr old self. I suppose it stemmed from a chilly morning my dad went out to start the car, heard a screech and saw a blur run from under the car. The cat had been keeping warm in the engine over night. We found him bloody and messed up in the corner of the basement. He lived many more years in real life and visited me in my dreams years later obviously. Even when you are 5 yrs old, you can start to feel the threads of guilt of not making sure your cat is in for the night.

More often, dreams are wishy washy, floating through places that seem familiar but obscured. People, characters, events come and go in a fluid, floating, stream of motion. There is no sound but there are words and sometimes you can wake up screaming, or giggling. He he he. Creepy. And then we look for the meaning. If we can’t put an obvious correlation to it, we spin something.  Who knows what your night time subconscious meant but at least we can get on with our day. 

It has been 20 days since my last cuddle with Dexter. Feels like a year. But last night he came to my side of the bed, clumsily hopped up, I wrapped my arms around his cute little rump and I shimmied him close to me. I put my head on his head which was on my pillow. It was real. I squeezed him and saved him from falling off the side of the bed where the grey cloud of nothingness floated underneath. He was always afraid of falling off the side of the bed and that was prominent in my sleeping brain. Then my sleeping brain came out of the foggy daze and was quietly nudging me to the reality that there was no Dexter under my arms or on my pillow needing protection from falling off the bed. I squeezed my eyes tight, fought the tears welling up, and felt a bit of gratitude that I got to spend a moment getting a cuddle with Dexter.